Ok, this is it! It 'was hard, not because of the text, which was ready, as for the photos, since I still had to create environments ... Also, you know, finding the right has always placed a low è_é! Et bien, let's update whose title is partly screwed with Veruca Salt, but since I have not found the song on the offending tube, settle for Mayonnaise Smashing Pumpkins (ç___ç) ... What else? Well, I do not know if the other songs mentioned are appropriate to the context, but vabbeh, let us take these liberties narrative. ° °
Ok enough, here's the second track ... Performed by a woman who does not know not even hold her up a tool let alone sing xD.
ps: I made a mess to take pictures ... If you see furniture and other objects out of place or appeared out of nowhere you know why ... ç__ç
* The Smashing Pumpkins - Mayonnaise *
The fast-moving, straight and flawless traffic parading in front of me and evokes memories that I never thought of having to bring out in the same places where they have taken shape. They are fragments, shards of countless moments of observing the streets outside and look at the tips of your fingers. And in keeping me doing wrong, as is normal.
Ever since I got home I looked at what I had always left me with nostalgia. But now that I'm back time in this city become a second home, the nostalgia is transformed into something more overwhelming: the regret. It 's a feeling foolish because I do not know what I regret. No, it is useless to lie to themselves so as not to hurt certain people: you miss the big time. Why, then, I was happy. While there I was in. I did not know, I only found out when everything is finished thwarted as crystal.
And now I'm here again. Almost everything has changed but at the same time it is as if nothing had changed. London is causing me the same feelings that he felt the first time I came here: the gray metropolis, the vanishing in great confusion, the desire to explore a different dimension and alien.
I wonder if Jennifer is feeling the same things I felt on my first arrival. Thinking I was about the same age. Talk about the case.
I can not imagine what he is thinking. I look at it, but its expression does not say anything that might give some clue to read, even if only superficially, in. E 'on these occasions that I realize the hard truth: I do not know my daughter. Or rather, not as I should. I am his mother, but I do not understand. I know it's my fault and I should not ever leave it, but it's done and I have to pay the price for those years of separation that we could not overcome, despite any good purpose.
flow of my thoughts is interrupted by a few shots at the door of the hotel room where we are. I turn to Jennifer, expecting her to get up and see who it could be. She also does the same thing looking away from the laptop. He shrugs and says:
-Well? Are you going to open the door, the mica is me!
And having said that boldly returns to be hypnotized by the PC screen.
I hate to think of things like that, but it's true: today's youth are increasingly brazen. I was not very different from her. In fact, I do not remember how many times I have given answers to my gender when I still lived by them before they run away from home ...
resign and I'm going to see who it is. I raise the peephole and I can not believe those who have before!
Now open the door and threw myself into the arms of my dear old Cassidy Duffy, Cass said as a note of the same name of a story by Bukowsky.
-Tesssssora you come! Without embracing!
-Of course I came to questions! Mica I could let slip
After this embrace of ritual, I turn to observe it better. The
- Cass, you are not changed at all, you're always my favorite pin up! You make me feel old!
- But feel it! He talked about my eternal diaphanous porcelain doll! Stop it you're beautiful, not even remotely show your 36 years!
I can not help but smile at these comments.
-Well, I know that useless reply, so I will just say thanks and keep my objections to me!
-Honey, you better throw garbage from your brain to your objections! However, you want to decide to let me in?
realize we were doing that whole scene of her friends found in the hallway. It is known also that if the cleaning lady is laughing in his sleeve.
-Ops, sorry I forgot his manners!
I'll nod to go with one hand too emphatic.
She boldly forward in response and closing his eyes and smiled ironically says
-Eh, I know I do this effect!
listed beginning to realize that the room is quite messy suitcases arranged at random, cell phones, guides and newspapers, not to mention the boxes and empty bottles of dinner brought to the room ... But I know you know Cass is the last person who looks after these things.
Jennifer is still in bed but has now changed its position and is reading an NME that he took from a newsagent in Oxford Street. When I look at it. It 'been so long since I read one and I would be curious to see how it is made. But I guess getting worse. Meanwhile, Cass has noted and has not failed by the exclamation:
-Oh hello, but you're not the daughter of Mel? Jennifer, right? I am Cass, a 'friend of your mother! But look how you've grown! I still remember the crumpled photo that made me see the Mel
I look at Jennifer. And I prepare for a possible bomb.
- ... Thank you, Miss Winehouse.
Complying with part of the answer so my worst expectations, with the tip of annoyance and irritation.
And Cass not imagine how he gets angry and tells her after a short laugh:
-I'm sorry honey, but I am concerned so I have to before they found out what
Then he calls me:
-Mel, how about if we go down and get us something? I bet your daughter does not have the slightest desire to listen to the talk of two old gossips.
thought for a moment and I know his reasoning wrong. I'm about to say something but the direct question before me:
Go-quiet, so I'm busy.
I'd like to ask you something but I do not want to hear other answers acid. So the greeting and taking her purse from one corner of the floor I head toward the door followed by Cass.
-Hello Jennifer, nice to know ya.
-Hello, my pleasure .
Answers so and not without a strong aftertaste ironic.
***
In one of the two cocktail lounges of 'hotels, we are sitting around a table in the smoking area. A reproduction of a painting by Picasso is watching us from above its geometrical forms enigmatically arranged in splinters. And those chips seem to be so similar to what I have inside. These are memories that places sharp together form the puzzle of my memory, and it is a framework that still today despite having seen, examined and analyzed countless times I still can not grasp the whole. There always something new that I remember and something else that escapes me. And so I continue, more details emerge I do most others are hiding in the depths of the canvas.
look Cass. It 's amazing that despite the distance and the long passage of time they have swept away the intensity of our bond. We've known half life. And 'she who gave me help when I came here the first time. If it were not for her I would not be here now in this hotel to sip a martini while listening to - discuss - cover of "Love Will Tear Us Apart" by Nouvelle Vague in his company and that of its red now already empty.
- dear ... So, tell me now what good wind, I hope you brought it back here.
I can not help but swallow. Carried by the wave of my memories I lost sight of the route that now overwhelmingly reappeared. I take another sip of Martini and force me to start talking.
-guess a few days ago who called me.
Cass before answering lights a cigarette brand Marlboro. The aims and after I threw up smoking dried answers:
-I do not want to play guess who. Tell me who is just.
pinching my wrist since I try not hardly swallow. So I let the words so simple yet so difficult to pronounce, as a heavy and a pain untold bitterness, are out on their own, all in one breath ... So to get rid of immediately.
-It 's been Alex.
violet eyes Cass is shelled one shot.
-Are you serious?!?
nod. Cass approached his hand to his forehead and makes a face of resignation and disapproval.
-What do you want?
Once again, the Martini encourages me with a bitter touch to my tongue so that it can act.
- wants to unite the group.
This time, Cassie is about to swallow.
-What!?
rests on the back of his chair and thoughtfully touching her head again to speak.
-And you thought that with the new fashion of the reunion that she was sitting there, not with our hands .. . And what he wants now, when you come back to him with mercy and to satisfy all their whims?
-Si ... Simply put.
Cass looks at me sempre più shockata. Si sporge sul tavolo guardandomi severamente.
-E se tu sei venuta qui… No, ti prego, non dirmi che hai accettato!
Volgo lo sguardo verso il mio Martini. E non posso fare a meno di annuire con mesta vergogna.
Nel frattempo la sigaretta di Cass è finita. Lei ne riaccende un’altra.
I Pink Martini tentano inutilmente di alleggerire l’atmosfera con note rilassanti.
-Melody – pessimo segno, visto che non mi chiama Why so - you crazy? You seem to have forgotten everything! How can you accept after what you did?!? I have sent directly to the fance *! Well, I just can not understand how you both into his head to accept!
He pauses once again sucking his Marlboro.
But then-well as others in the group ... I say, have accepted?!?
-Eh, it seems so.
-Bah, who knows what they have offered then! Why not be explained otherwise!
sucks again his Marlboro.
-And why did you accept? Knowing you, not for money ... Or at least I hope!
I hesitate to answer. But I know that I can not deny them an answer and that maybe she's the only way to understand the reason for my decision. Once again I invoke my Martini to be my muse.
-I do not know how to explain it. I myself realize that it is trivial reasons and false hopes. The truth is that I lived in Los Angeles thinking about my life here, the group, friends and everything else. I have never been able to reintegrate, I tried not to think about throwing them in the work to the record company. Here, nostalgia is stronger than any resentment. In the end, the good memories they have transgressed the anger and frustration. And that did not live in the past day after day knowing this ... Maybe there has always been in me the hope that phone call. It arrived a few days ago. I could not believe it and I took the time. But shortly after I recovered from the surprise I knew what I would do. I do not know what I hope to draw from all this. Surely these are just illusions. Those times now they are gone and even if now they will not come together as never before. But I do not know, mine is still a small but big part in fund hopes to relive the happy times as before. I am also aware that could ensure more equitable treatment. But I feel the risk, if it means being able to live again, good times.
closing this for breath and I offer my lips to the glass but then I realize that its content has now been exhausted.
Cassie notices the empty glass.
-We should order something else to recover.
and motions to a waiter who arrives out of breath here. This time we order 4 shots of Jack Daniel's. Ideal to revive the spirits after talks like that.
Once the waiter went away carrying away the remains of the old order, Cass back at me seriously.
- Mel, I understand your reasons. You do not know how many times it happened to me to regret the good old days of running wild through the streets of London between a concert and the other a drunk and the next. I know that back in your hometown must have been tremendous, especially as there was the problem of the relationship with your daughter. Precisely for this reason I would not condemn all of your reasons. The only thing, let me say, is that you can not throw away your dignity in the process to go back to the past. But now you've accepted ... Now However, the minimum of what there Sgarro or another of his ... enforced. And you'll put this in clear dal'inizio. I see that you know what you can meet and say, why you need to protect themselves, so to avoid another disaster like that of the now historic August 10, 1999.
A brush come directly to our table the 4 shots of Jack. And to kind of brush will change the background music: tones of exotic lounge / bossa nova you go to discover more about jazz in America in the years 50-60. Start a family marked by a unique scale of notes from the piano takes powerfully the soppravvento in our ears and our minds, recalling old readings, old and old booze plays: Coltrane My Favorite Things definitely.
Cass grabs one of two shots and helps to blow up his words ringing with an atmosphere that had become too serious:
-Well, enough of 'sti long faces, here c & rsquo it is to be happy and of course to toast! Melody Nelson's return, our model manager!
fast I take the shot of Jack and I take a light but at the same time intense contact with that of Cassie. And then, as if they had never gone past 10 years, throw it all down in the stomach in a single blow. Like a knife that penetrates directly into the bowels, hot and uncomfortable but at the same time pleasant and lulling. So I think it's great to be here and be able to resume old habits. I feel alive.
My thoughts are interrupted by Cass optimistic, says:
-So porcelain doll. After we quaff this cicchetti other two, what? A drink from that certain pub in Chelsea?
I shook my head laughing.
No, Cass, come on, maybe tomorrow! I'm pretty tired, the trip was rather exhausting.
-Imagine, mica and then you can leave your daughter alone ...
Jennifer. Alone in the room. I never thought of.
-Yes, exactly ...
-Well, but if we have the flow with us! However, it should be, 'drink that I think these are definitely breaking to just wait as our throats!
-Hah, I guess you're right!
In fact, our throats can not wait any longer and are eager to savor the taste of fire again and our hands will not let us wait.
***
I'll be back up to our room almost effortlessly. Maybe it was not a good idea to take even two more shots of Jack ... And now it is definitely turning heads.
The environment around you make fun of me dancing in a circle mocking ... Yet although I should not be more accustomed to such situations, I realize that I'm doing off between spatial carousels with an ease that I believed was now faded with abstinence in recent years.
And so finally arriving at room 401. My room. Or at least I think ... Yes, it should.
I knock on the door and comes after an eternity Jennifer to the door. I notice his eyes suspiciously asking about me.
-What are you looking at?
-Have you been drinking?
-Si ... So what?
He looks up toward the ceiling. And finally I am entering. Slowly run to throw myself on the bed, so without taking off my shoes.
notice that she is watching me with insistence and maybe want to tell me something.
-While you have some pleasure you below with Cassie Winehouse, I started seeing a few announcements on the Internet for an apartment. I found a couple with an interesting but I could already agreed to do a survey on the spot. We're going to tomorrow at 18?
of his speech I did not understand almost nothing, so let it go with a classic, yeah, yeah, we'll see .
She looks resigned.
- I understood everything, so again tomorrow.
It said it between his legs takes his laptop, insert the earphones and starts do not know what to do.
For my part, lying on the bed I let myself enchanted by the lights of the city, their intensity and their caress me calm and relaxed movement by those caring urban I let myself go in the arms Morpheus' where all the lights, colors, keystrokes, and the voice of the city is diluted black tempera on paper as the color of which ends up with the white fade and blend until fade ...
